Funny Friday

A wife went in to see a therapist. “I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear-splitting yell.” “My dear,” the shrink said, “that’s completely natural. I don’t see what the problem is?” “The problem is,” she complained, “It wakes me up.”

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Hunting flies.” “Oh! Are you killing any?” “Yep, 3 males, 2 females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell them apart?” He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were…

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A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. ‘Human beings are the only animals that stutter’, she says. A little girl raises her hand. ‘I had a kitty-cat who stuttered’, she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. ‘Well’, she began,…

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Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it’s missing a seal, so whenever it rains, he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. His girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He rides his new bike to…

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  A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.   The bartender asks the seal, “What’s your pleasure?”   The seal replies, “Anything but Canadian Club.”

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