Funny Friday

A hat tip to James Gang member Renee for this joke ~ 🙂 A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and clearly aroused. As he leapt into bed his wife complained, as usual, “I’ve a headache!” “Perfect! I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin. You can take it orally, or…

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Renault and Ford are working together on a new small car for women. They are mixing the “Clio” and the “Taurus” and calling it the “Clitaurus.” It comes in hot pink, and the average male thief won’t be able to find it, even if a woman tells him where it is.

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A married couple is having dinner. The wife says: “The light on the front porch keeps flickering and adjusting the light bulb doesn’t help. After dinner, I’d like it if you could try to fix it.” The husband barely looks up from his plate and asks: “Do I look like an electrician to you?” then…

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A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow’s final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member’s death. One smart ass, male student said, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?” and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After…

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A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?” “No, I stopped…

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