Friday Funny #34

November 13, 2009

This is out of the realm of my usual jokes, but I couldn’t resist this one — it is courtesy of Lisa L. of my James Gang

😉

***

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.


In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as:


NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.


Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.


Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.


What can I do?


Signed,

Desperate


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.


Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.


If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.


However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.


Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.


Whatever you do, DO NOTunder any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)


In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.


In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:


Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7


Good Luck!
Tech Support

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