Happy Labor Day!

The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. “How could you do this!”

“I don’t know,” she wailed, “I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, ‘Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.’”

“Well,” the pastor persisted, “You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, “Get behind me, Satan!”

“I did,” replied his wife, “but then he said “It looks great from back here, too!”

Now I’ve got to get back to work

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Becky’s father to ask him for her hand. “Mr. Smith, me and Becky are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “You are only 10. Where will you two live?”

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce says, “In Becky’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, “Okay, then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Becky.”

Again, Bruce instantly replies, “Our allowance, Becky makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine.”

Mr. Smith is impressed that Bruce has put so much thought into this. “Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?”

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, we’ve been lucky so far.”

Mr. Smith no longer thinks this little shit is adorable.

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To his surprise, Tony’s wife had followed him into the kitchen. She asked, “Did you like what you saw?”

Terry said, “Yes I did.”

She said, “Well, you can get more than just a look…for $500. You interested?”

Terry thought it over and said, “Okay.”

“Come back tomorrow at 2:30,” she said. “Tony will be at work.”

Terry went over, they had sex, he paid her and left.

Later, Tony comes home and asks his wife, “Has Terry been over here today?”

Thinking they’d been caught, she said, “As a matter of fact, he did.”

Tony said, “Good, because that fool came by my job this morning and asked to borrow $500 bucks till this evening and said he would leave it here with you.”

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